evilcaramel

It’s almost 2am in this part of the world and for some reason I seem to be suffering from, hopefully, a mild case of insomnia. A bit weird since I was dead tired when I got home from work this evening and I was already dozing off while waiting for my friends to arrive because I was supposed to have dinner out with them.

Anyway, staying up, tossing and turning in bed has given me some time to brood over what I’ve been feeling the past few days. To give you guys a quick backgrounder, I haven’t exactly been the best company these couple of days. I’ve been feeling pretty low lately and feeling like I don’t belong. Which shouldn’t be too much of a surprise considering the fact that I’m not exactly in my own country and my loved ones are so far away. One thing though, that has always helped me cope with these sudden bouts of depression has been the fact that in just a few more months, I will be going back home to where my family and friends are and also back to a job which I enjoyed much more. That thought has always managed to make me feel better, helping me get over the fact that I never really felt like I belonged here. At least there was a place waiting for me back home where I could once again feel like I belonged.

But lately, I’ve been getting this weird feeling that things back home are so different from what they once were before I left. And am beginning to feel like I no longer belong there too…If I don’t belong here and I don’t belong there, then where do I belong?

I wonder if others have also felt the same way? Am I just being paranoid or is this normal for people who have been away for quite awhile?

Haaaaay. I hope I get over this soon…